Do you trust people easily?
For me, trust is something so precious and vulnerable. It believes that people are who they say they are; it is trusting their words and actions. It relies on them to do what they say and act accordingly within their character.
Having faith in people and hoping that they will stay true to who they are. But let me tell you, people are very food actors. They will showcase their representations a lot, if not all the time. They will show up as their ‘best version of themselves’ says what they think you want to hear. But sometimes, you don’t know what people’s intentions are; you just have to believe that they are authentic and honest.
It is sad that some people only have their best interest at heart and don’t have a level of empathy, so that they may break your trust. On the other hand, people may unintentionally destroy your faith but will be willing to work on it to build it up. I have been on both sides of the fence. I have broken peoples trust, and people have broken my trust. But I try not to hold anything against them because things happen, and lessons will be learned.
When I broke peoples trust, it had an impact on my confidence, self-esteem and relationships. It taught me that I do not want to hurt anyone like this again, and I don’t want to carry this guilt, so I will remain honest and open going forward. So far, it has been a rollercoaster, but slowly I am learning to be transparent and open.
Alternatively, my trust has been broken. I was hurt. I kept playing the scenario in my head. Over time, I got over it, but it made me cautious of people. Through therapy, I realized that I was avoiding situations and people (at times) because I was so scared that my trust would be broken again. The truth is, it is very likely that it will happen again, and I can’t walk around scared. Life is far too short for that. I have to take a jump and hope for the best. I may fall, or I may fly.
Now I am going to talk about a recent situation that made my trust in people waver.
Recently, I just started working as a mental health personal independence coordinator. When I started working, I had a colleague who would spill the tea, which I appreciated, so I wasn’t surprised when things popped up.
Yes, she painted the role negatively, but I took what she said with a grain of salt because that was her experience. Weeks went by, and my colleague told me that the workload was too much and this client… and that client… fair enough. It is essential to get things off your chest. Eventually, my colleague handed in her resignation letter as she said work was impacting her sleep and marriage…it was terrible.
Initially, her last day was supposed to be the end of November, but she left abruptly a couple of weeks ago. It turns out she wasn’t doing her work! We work in the mental health field with clients who may have severe mental health, and for her not to be doing her work, it can have a terrible impact on the client’s wellbeing. Our job involves talking to clients offering support, and signposting them to the services they may need. She wasn’t doing that at all!
GP practices made a complaint there’s an investigation its flawed. She has been lying the whole time. She was lying to her colleagues and other professionals. I felt betrayed because she was disclosing things to me as well about her clients. It just goes to show that the content of her character is something else.
When we found out, I was shocked at first; then, I started to blame myself. Was I that naïve? Do I trust people too easily? Maybe, but it is because I’m pretty frank; therefore, I expect the same from people.
I learned not to do that. Don’t be me.
Here are some tips that have helped me to trust people again:
Continue to do what you’re doing.
Having a routine and staying busy has helped me to not dwell on the current situation. I continue with what I’ve always done, and that is my self-care and daily routines. They have worked for me thus far, so there is no reason to stop doing it now.
Be trustworthy
My friends would say I am reliable and trustworthy. They can confide in me, and whatever is said will stay between them and me. There is no reason to discuss it elsewhere. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would hope they would do the same.
Trust until they show you otherwise
I am not saying trust strangers with your valuables and personal information. For example, if you have built a rapport with your colleagues and get along, they appear trustworthy, you can start sharing something small to test the waters. They haven’t shown themselves to be untrustworthy, so why not trust them.
Surround yourself and believe that you can be around trustworthy people
They say birds of a feather flock together which I agree with somewhat. I am blessed with a quality friendship group. I say quality >quantity as it is vital to be surrounded by those who inspire you. Support you and are trustworthy.
Be trustworthy- it isn’t easy to put your trust out there. Trust me, I know. But if people observe that you indeed are reliable, it will help to build relationships up.
Take Away
Trust is tough to come by, and in some cases, when it is broken, it may be hard to come by.
Don’t let it determine how you move forward and how you interact with other people.
Use it as a learning lesson but don’t let it stop you from making connections with new people that may come into your life.
Thank you for reading.
Take care and stay safe.
XO
Great post and valuable this time of year. So many people want to reconcile but don’t know how to trust or trust again.
It is a complicated process, but everyone has to identify what works. Thanks for reading.