Friends are vital.
I call my friends, my sisters and I tell them I love them because they ARE my sisters that I wish I had.
If you have read my previous posts, you would know that my friends are like family to me whereas some of my family are relatives. There is a vast difference.
There are people who YOU choose to be in your life, and there are people that happen to be in your life.
Some may say friends come and go which I do agree with. There are many girls that I used to think that we would be best friends for life. We no longer speak, but I wish them all the best.
On the other hand, some friends are SOLID as a rock, and you know that even though you may not speak as much as you used to or hang out like you used to, but you know deep down if you need them, there would be there for you in a heartbeat.
I call them girls my family (in my head) because all they do is provide a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and good vibes all around.
My group of friends are small, but boy, we go deep. We talk about business ideas, spirituality, goals, mental wellbeing…everything. And I love that about us. We share LONG voice notes and calls just rambling on and on, and it brings me so much joy.
My Girlfrienddddssss (cue girlfriends intro)
Having a great friendship group has many benefits:
Boosts your self-esteem
When you are down in the dumps, if you have a fantastic group of friends, they should boost you up. When my friends come to me with an issue or just need to talk, I am trying to be their coach, cheerleader, sister and friend all rolled into one. PUMP, PUMP it UP!
There are so many great qualities friends can bring to the table. So when they are going through something, I will remind them of all the things they have accomplished, how they are amazing friends and what I wish for them going forward. And they do precisely the same thing for me.
You need people around you to uplift you. Life is too short, so give people their flowers while you can. The energy you put out will always come back to you. So, speak kindly to yourself, to your loved ones and even to strangers. Like attracts like, energy equals energy.
Someone to talk to
Lockdown 1 and 2 has taught and showed me how important it is to have someone to talk to; as I was not working for the majority of lockdown. Besides those I live with, I didn’t see anyone. I was pretty much sticking to the guidelines, so I was staying at home. Being a model citizen.
Honestly, if I didn’t have friends, I would have really struggled; just keeping it real. I needed someone on my wavelength (+my age) to vent to. To talk about my frustration and how fed up, I am with 2020. And vs versa.
We need to have a support system during these crazy times. If things were going on at home, it helped to get another opinion. In my lowest times, my friends have really helped me to put things in perspective. I am tough on myself, and I got really down on myself because I am struggling to get work and I’d really thought I’d have a full-time job by now.
Two degrees and I can’t get a damn thing, but my sister-friend Anisha (love you girl) told me, “Listen, a lot of people are struggling to get jobs right now regardless. Just focus on things that you can control. Jobs are hard to come by but look, you’re working on your YouTube channel, your blog and you are consistent. So that’s something. You are making use of this time at home, and you are trying”.
That’s right! I am trying very hard, so I need to give myself more credit. Thanks, friends for always speaking the TRUTH.
Friends are great for your health- mentally and physically.
Imagine this; having friends has been linked to lower rates of heart disease. We are social animals, so it is essential to be supported, listened to and understood.
Besides, there are benefits to our physical health, but it is just as crucial for our mental health. “A 2009 study from the Journal of the National Medical Association surveyed 300 men and women at a free health clinic in Buffalo, New York. They found that respondents with insufficient perceived social support were the most likely to suffer from mental health disorders like anxiety and depression”.
Hold you accountable
It would help if you had an accountability partner. What is an accountability partner? Someone who is going to put you in check and make you abide by your words. For example, if you tell your friends that you are going to work out 5 times this week, your accountability partner will text you and remind you to get your butt moving. If you tell them that you are going to do something, although it is your responsibility to do what you said that you are going to do, having an accountability partner gives you that extra push.
Personally, I love having an accountability partner. I have a few: they don’t even know because it is in their nature for us to push each other. For people to keep it real and honest with me and I will reciprocate. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Let me know what’s really on your mind. Push me out of my comfort zone! Push me to want to continue to better myself.
If we have a person that keeps us in our place, doesn’t correct us or challenge us, you’ve got to think to yourself, do they really want to see us grow? Are they intimidated by your potential, so they keep things on the hush to keep you on the ground? Baby, shoot for the moon, and if you fall, you’ll be amongst the stars. You are a star!
Do you struggle to maintain friendships due to your mental health? Why not send a short message. It doesn’t have to be a long message it could just say, ‘I’m not feeling my best, but thanks for reaching out.’ My friend Charis is so amazing for this. I wasn’t feeling my best 2 or so weeks ago, and she was like, ‘Girl, it’s fine. I am thinking of you, and I’m here for you.’ That is all I needed. She has been there, and she will be there for sure.
So be the friend that YOU would like to have in your life.
Thanks for reading.
Take care and stay safe.
XO
Agreed! Having (real) friends can have so many benefits but be careful for the fake ones.
Yes! We’ve got to be mindful of fake friends. Thanks for reading!