Lessons I learned during my 26 years around the sun
1. I don’t have everything figured out yet…and that is fine. I have ideas.
When I was in my early teens, I thought that by my twenties, I would have life figured out; I would be in my OWN home; the market is mad, and London is very expensive. Lesson #1
I would be working up the carer ladder and making a lot of money in my chosen career.
I would be in a relationship and ready to have a child, LOL.
My naïve and ignorant self had no idea how adulthood is. Now I know better, and I am aware that things are not completely figured out, and that is FINE.
I am now, 27 years old (July 23, Leo gang stand up) and let me tell you, I am still figuring things out. I am blessed to be in the current position I am in now. I have an IDEA of the field I would like to work in. I have an apartment, and I am figuring out how to be the best Adult Candice I can be. To have things figured out, you need to have time and be certain of the steps you want to take to get where you want to go.
I haven’t made the time to sit down, think and figure absolutely everything out. That is a job itself, but I have made it a goal of mine to have a career path you can say, set by the end of the year.
Is that pressure? A LITTLE. But I have been saying that I would do this for at least a year now. The procrastinator in me was winning, not anymore.
2. Getting out of the comfort zone is hard work, but it will teach you
I was comfortable living at home even though it wasn’t the best space for me (mentally). I could have stayed at home for years and saved even more money. Which I would advise for some people. But you push for it when you know that being outside of the home and your comfort zone would do a lot for your wellbeing.
I surely did push myself, and now I am living solo. I must say I really enjoy it, and I will talk about my experience thus far in an upcoming post.
3. Still working on my confidence (at work mostly)
I would say in my personal life, I have become ever so slightly more confident. I still have areas that I would like to work on, but I am working on it, honey. Although, in my work life, there is still a lot of room for improvement. At times, I take a backseat when I really should be sticking up for myself and doing things that will benefit me/work in my favour. I am blessed to be working with colleagues who can do this comfortably, and admire them for it. I know I can do it because I am shy and don’t want to ruffle any feathers. But my feathers are being ruffled! I need to stand up, hold my head high, shoulders back and say what is on my mind. I’ve got this.
Presence over Presents…Please
4. I am working on living in the present
With all the chaos that is going on, it is difficult to stay in the present instead thinking of the future. These days, I think way into the future; I think about my career and where I will be in a few years.
I think about when I will have my children, what they will be like, and where we will live. I need to be thinking about myself right now. My happiness in this current state and I believe the next point will help me with it.
5. More meditation is needed
Meditation has changed the game for me. It has made me less stressed and according to my friend, she mentioned that I am not as anxious as I used to be. What A WIN! However, sometimes I feel like I meditate just to say that I do it. That is not the attitude that we need! We need to actually focus during the meditation duhhhh. I am going to try different types of meditation and hopefully, that will make more of a difference to how I feel.
6. No regrets, just lessons learned
When I tell you that I regret nothing, trust me. I believe that every experience is either a lesson or a blessing. What happens to us shapes us, whether we are aware of it or not and whether we like it. So I will continue doing what I do; it has been working for me so far.
7. Being motivated all the time is hard work
Listen, my motivation comes in waves, and I blame it partly on my ADHD. When the motivation is within me, I am on a roll; I will get things ticked off of my to-do list. I will do everything I need to do when I am motivated to do so because when the motivation is gone; it is gone.
I recall one night I said I was attempting to write my blog post for Friday. That must have been a couple of months ago by now. The motivation was not there at all. Plus, I can’t force it. If I am in a funk, I let myself be in a funk, and soon enough, my mood will change, and the motivation will find me again.
Just getting through the day can be a lot of work, I do not need to more work anymore to do, especially not trying to make myself motivated when I am not.
Life is A Learning Curve
8. I’ve got ADHD, so my brain is wired differently, and that’s cool.
Towards the end of last year, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and it has been an eye-opening experience. More so like, wow, it all makes sense kind of experience. I am still learning about how the symptoms impact me and the support I need.
I tend to cut myself more slack now as I can be very hard on myself. I try to remind myself that I cannot help it, not that I am making excuses, but my mind is worried differently, which is perfectly fine. I need to do more research and see how I can make the necessary adaptations to make my life a little more manageable because, at times, I can be a bit chaotic, ha!
9. Things could be a lot worse
When I think I’m in a lot of poo, I think, well, things could be a lot worse.
I have a job, I have a roof over my head, I have a great support system, I am healthy, I am alive, and I am making it by!
I am grateful for all these things as I know, sadly, many people don’t have. So when I think I’m going through some mess and things don’t seem to be going right, I think well things could be shit.
10. How you talk to yourself is everything
I need to work on this every day of my life. Positive thoughts manifest. Words become things and how you talk to yourself is so important. I find it so easy to be my friends cheerleader but I really struggle when it comes to speaking highly to myself. I don’t know what it is, but it is a big task. I will continue with the affirmations, and perhaps I need to say it to myself in the mirror as well!
11. Manifestation really works
Oh baby, manifest, manifest and manifest. It really does work wonders. Around September, I was single as a pringle living at home, I HATED my job and overall, I was not in the best mental space. I did everything in my power to manifest what I have now. I began counselling, I changed my job, I focused on healing, and I worked on manifesting my desires every day. Fast forward to almost a year later, I have a job which I like, I am living solo in my first apartment, I AM IN A HEALTHY, LOVING RELATIONSHIP, and I know that this is just the beginning. The universe listens to you when you speak, so speak of what you want (if you believe in manifestation, of course).
12. Comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t let it steal your happiness
Why compare yourself, you are only one of one baby. You are a snowflake, a diamond, every pretty thing there is, you are! I used to compare myself to everyone and that did not work well for me at all. It impacted my self esteem and did not make a whole lot of sense. I am not like anyone and no one is like me. Everyone has their own life journey so just focusing on your own is all that you can do.
13. Jobs will replace you in a heartbeat
I learnt that from my last job! I really thought my manager would care more than he did about me leaving considering how much time and effort I put in. Verbatim, he said, “Send me your resignation letter via email”. It took me back but reinstated what I said above. Jobs will replace you in a heartbeat. You are simply just a number to some employers unfortunately so put yourself first and don’t neglect yourself especially not at work.
14. Change is good and will push you.
Change is scary but necessary for growth. I am a lady of routine, but I know that doing the same thing time and time again is not going to push you out of your comfort zone.
I like to be challenged and I would say the role I have now has more challenging moments, but I have grown so much since I have been here!
15. Laughter is everything
I love to laugh. Its like exercising your organs and it feels so good. Life can be overwhelming and serious at times, so sometimes, you’ve got to throw on a comedy, scroll through Instagram and have a good laugh. You deserve it.
16. Mindset will help or hurt you
I would like to think that each year I grow wiser and more aware of my mindset. Before I began counselling again, I was very much stuck in a rut and the thoughts were not helping me get out of the rut. Now, I know that I am not going to be in the best mood all the time, but I am making it a conscious effort to be positive and think positively.
17. Maintain those boundaries; adjust them if you have to but always maintain them.
Boundaries will help and protect you. We all need boundaries to have a good balance. I have learned to adjust my boundaries and make it stricter if necessary.
My well-being is nonegotiable and I do hope people can understand it. We have all got to do what is in our best interest and protect our peace!
18. You can plan, but things won’t always happen as you hope
I love a plan, but God has said LOL countless times, and that is ok. I am a strong believer in that everything happens for a reason and perhaps the plan was meant to fall through. We will never know.
19. Self-care is a necessity
I said this before, and I will continue to say it. Self care is necessary. I try to incorporate self-care at least once every single day. If it is not journaling, it’s eating something nutritious, getting enough sleep, or going to the gym.
It is important to pour into yourself and make yourself feel good because how can you pour into others if you have nothing left to give? Give yourself all the love you can, you need it!
20. Thinking about the future is inevitable
I like to think about the future, and my mind can’t seem to escape it, but I hope to find more of a balance regarding staying present and being mindful and also planning for the future somewhat.
21. Being an adult is no joke
At times, all I want to do is lay in bed and do absolutely nothing but bills have to be paid honey. In the upcoming year, I hope to be more mindful of spending some time and making sure I still take care of my responsibilities. Being an adult can be overwhelming, but we must remember to have fun too.
22. I need to get out more
I am a homebody, honestly, but I do love to travel. Sadly, I haven’t explored much of the UK, and I do hope to travel more soon. It is great seeing what this world has and to make more experiences.
23. Im becoming more self-aware and I love it
Self-awareness is key! I honestly can’t imagine not being self-aware at this point. I have to, its my job, LOL. Knowing when to apologise or be aware of how you speak to people is key to strengthening relationships.
24. I need to read more
I love reading, and if you guys were to see my to-read book list, you would be stunned. I have over 100 books I hope to read; I am not putting a time frame on it because aint no way. I hope to maintain reading a chapter a day as part of my night routine. That way, I can continue to learn.
25. There is always something to learn
Speaking of learning, there is an infinite amount of information at our fingertips that we have access to.
Isn’t that crazy?
26. HOE- Happiness over everything
Happiness is a factor that I hope will always remain in my life.
Take Away
There is always something to learn. You don’t have to wait until another year passes by to sit and analyze the lessons you have learned. you can do it whenever.
Thank you for reading, and I hope you took away a thing or two!
