Growing in Love- Loss turned into Lessons

As some may know, last year was an overwhelming year for me—the loss of love.

I experienced a lot of loss, but I learned so much, and you know what I like to say it’s not a failure, it’s a lesson.

“Life is one big lesson”.

Towards the end of 2021, I told myself that I would do everything in my power to get out of the mental space that I was in.

And by doing everything in my power, this included:

Going back to counselling

I told myself before that when I have enough disposable income; counselling will be another staple in my life. I am not the most vocal person; at times, I used to bottle things, so I thought it was best to return to counselling and have long-term counselling to help me overcome the issues that I tried to deal with alone. Needless to say, I started counselling again last year, and have been having a counselling session every other week.

Leaving a toxic work environment

Work was taking over my life, and it was no fun I do not recommend it. If you would like to know why my previous role was so toxic, make sure to check out my post here.

Trying to remain present and stop thinking about the past.

I came out of a long-term relationship, and honestly, I was lost. I didn’t know what to do or what to think. As it caught me off guard, and I am a lady of being prepared, I was thrown a curve ball that hit me in the chest. But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that breakup had to happen to teach me that: I need to stop putting people and things above my well-being as it does absolutely no favours for me and my wellbeing. Also, not everything is promised. Life happens, and sometimes our plans don’t come to fruition, and that’s that. We can’t change the past, and what is meant to happen will happen.

Focus on healing

This included going back into journalling and starting to manifest heavy. If you too believe in manifestation check out my previous post about it and see how it worked for me.

I wanted to dedicate six months to myself to heal and love myself. To change the things that I have control of and to be in a better space than I was. And I did just that. A lot can change when you focus on yourself and ignore the background noise.

To ignore the background noise, I zooned in, and I didn’t have time to focus on anything else but my happiness and healing.

I focused on my fitness. Being active keeps me sane, lol. There are so many benefits to working out not just for your body but for your mind also. Although dragging myself to the gym during the winter months was hard work, it did me wonders and helped me be more confident and relieve the pent-up stress that I had. My body and my mind thanked me.

I focused on leaving the job and finding something that made more sense for my carer. As mentioned before, my end goal is to become a counsellor, meaning I need the experience to help me get to that path. That means leaving a toxic work environment; yaaay.

In hindsight, that job taught me a lot, and it was in mental health, so I guess it counts towards experience; look at me trying to see the bright side of things.

Leaving the job was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders and I could see clear skies again. I was blessed to find another job within my chosen field that would pay me more, and I would be able to maintain a healthy work-life balance. When I handed in my resignation from my previous role, the response told me everything I need to know. Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated!

In the words of Ciara, I had to level up. I knew my worth, and I wasn’t settling for any job that would pay my bills; I had to be happy, too and it had to make sense for my carer.

I focused on me and nothing but me. Child, I didn’t have time to be trying to find another man. Plus, I wanted to ensure that I wasn’t taking baggage from my previous relationship into a new one. Not that I had much baggage, but I wanted to ensure I was good and content within myself before trying to bring another man into my space.

It is essential that I didn’t depend on anyone but myself for my happiness. I never did before, but during the healing process, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t have a complex of some sort. I made it essential that what I did was serve me and me alone. I wasn’t entertaining the idea of a relationship at all. I just wanted to focus on building my self-esteem and other areas in my life.

Going into 2022, I told myself that this year would be for me, focusing on my carer, my happiness and doing what pleases me.

Towards the end of February of this year, I felt that you know what? I feel good, and maybe it’s a good time to put myself out there, not necessarily for a relationship but to work on my dating skills. This is beyond me, but I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and try something new.

At the time, my life consisted of going to the gym, working and seeing my friends occasionally. It was time to switch it up a little bit and do something different. So I signed up for dating sites. I said sites for s. LOL.

At first, I was a bit nervous and wasn’t sure if I even wanted anyone to talk to me. I just wanted to do it for me and my confidence. And oh my, I wasn’t prepared. From not talking to new faces to suddenly having options, I wasn’t ready.

I started to talk to a few people, and the conversation seemed to lead to conversations that I didn’t enjoy having so early on. I was keeping it very PG, and some people were taking it further. That’s not for me, and that wasn’t why I decided to join the site I just wanted to have some good conversation and perhaps meet up but absolutely no pressure.

I met up with a couple of guys I talked to for a few weeks, and it was ok. The dates weren’t horrible, but they weren’t great either. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, nor was I expected to jump into one straight away, so I was content with the outcome.

Then it came to Friday, and I was getting ready for my third date with the third guy that week. It seemed overwhelming for a shy girl like me, but I tried my best to keep pushing through. And I am glad I did.

I was so nervous, unlike the dates I had with other guys, and maybe there’s a reason for that. Although I was really shy, I slowly let my guard down and became comfortable with my date. We went on several dates, and now that date is my boyfriend.

I know what you are thinking; what happened to just focusing on me all 2022? I was talking to God about this, but I was like, Woah, is this happening? Then I think about the actions I took that led me to the position I found myself. I was manifesting my ideal partner, but I didn’t know the universe would make it happen so quickly. I am beyond grateful and blessed to be in the position I am in now and surrounded by love.

As I mentioned before, we can have our plans, but other forces ultimately have other ideas for us. I can’t complain because I have been blessed with a beautiful soul.