Don’t give up when you feel like quitting, keep going!
In a few words…
Life is hard.
No matter who you are and what you go through, LIFE IS HARD. And at times, it makes us want to give up and quit.
In a nutshell, 2019 was incredibly difficult. I don’t like to say its one of the hardest years of my life because it wasn’t (queue 2020).
Towards the end of 2019, my grandmother passed unexpectedly, two days before my Master’s degree began. Overwhelmed and distraught are words that come to mind. I was heartbroken. Emotionally, I was struggling, but I used the pain to push me forward.
Although it was hard, I tried to put things in perspective; I have a place to live, my loved ones are well, and I have my education. Things could be so much worse.
Two things that many young women across the world don’t have access to. I will continue to count my blessings, and you should too!
Therefore everyday, I try to count my blessings; big and small.
I quit my job as a support worker in May 2019. Honestly, I liked my job (at times); I got on well with the supported individuals; however, it was extremely stressful and impacted my well-being.
Improving the quality of life for individuals with mental health disorders such as anxiety is a passion. Having the ability to work in the mental health sector is something that I cherish.
Honestly, I was out of work for a while as I didn’t want to settle and work in a job that I didn’t see myself progressing in (I have had so many jobs, I am trying not to add to the list).
Then, I had a few interviews, but all were unsuccessful, and that is ok. In hindsight, I wasn’t the best candidate for the job!
Fast forward to august, I signed up to an agency as a nursery assistant.
August flew by…still no work. September flew by…nope no work.
In between this time, I made several inquires as to why I wasn’t getting any shifts. Quitting was becoming a theme in my life!
It wasn’t until October that I worked! It wasn’t my initial plan, but at least I made a bit of money.
Not only was I stressing out about not working, but my grandmother also passed suddenly in September.
This came as a shock to everyone, and I am still trying to process the loss as I write this.
I went to America and Guyana to be with my family.
I missed a week of university but that was ok as I had access to all the materials online.
It was extremely sad (I felt like quitting and just sleep until I felt better), but I had to be there for my family. Back and forth across the Atlantic ocean was wearing me out, to say the least.
But I had no time to rest. As soon as I got back from Guyana, I had to catch up with university work.
To this day, I am surprised that I still have the motivation to keep on top of everything.
I made it a point to not let myself defer from my goal.
A couple of weeks ago, my car was broken into right in front of my apartment!
This worried me but thankfully nothing was stolen.
It’s crazy how much I have changed.
A couple of years ago, all the stressors would have really halted my progression and my ability to see the bigger picture.
I would have let pain take over my perspective, and I would have remained in a negative space.
But no longer.
It may be horrible to say, but my grandma’s passing has sparked the fire in me that I thought died a long time ago.
Life is for the living not just existing.
I have so many goals that I want… No I WILL accomplish.
I have more determination than ever.
I have become more organized.
And more passionate.
And I have become more sure that I will achieve all that I hope for.
And why have I not given up?
Because I refuse to let my circumstances overshadow my dreams.
Why have you not quit as yet- I hear you ask!
I have no choice. I am stubborn beyond belief, and when I have something set in my mind, it is tough to deter me from that.
I blame my star sign (LEO) and my personality (Type A) on this!
My drive will not slow down
My goals are stuck in my mind, and I have, sorry, I WILL achieve them. I am sure my angels are watching down and spearing me on not to give up.
I have to keep going.
As this dream of mine is not just for me.
This is for those who paved the way for me to do the things I do now and have access to the available resources.
This is for my mother, who has made many selfless sacrifices so that I can thrive.
This is for my children, who will see the life I have created for them and see the hard work and determination, which will hopefully rub off on them.
Yes there will be days when I feel like quitting and that is ok.
During troubled times, I like to journal, assess my moods and see if there was a particular issue that has caused me to feel a particular way. I have learnt this from my sessions of therapy.
If you would like to know more about my therapy experience, click here.
You have to know your whys and keep them at the back of your mind when you feel like giving up.
There are so many people that would love to be in your place.
We have one life to live, so let us strive to be the best we can be and live out our goals and dreams.
You deserve it.
No quitting. Take breaks for your wellbeing but do not quit!
Keep going.
Thanks for reading.
Take care,
XO
