You have got to be yourself!
I’m sure that you have heard the saying, “Be yourself”, “No one can be you, so just be yourself.” It is easier said than done.
Especially during these times with the influence of social media.
Not a day goes by without you going on social media unless you have superhuman strength and resist it.
I had a big hiatus from social media a few years ago. I deleted it off my phone, I stopped using snap chat and Twitter, and I never downloaded Facebook and messenger on my phone anyway.
Constantly absorbing the ridiculous (at times) and unrealistic expectations of what we need to look like and what trend we need to follow are too much and can impact our self-esteem.
We need to keep in mind that social media are simply reels and are highlights of our lives. We choose what we want to share and for some platforms to showcase our best self which is ok!
Do you boo!
And I hope you start to feel better about yourself too!
It can be easy to slip into the mindset of ‘I need to act like this to be liked and get loads of followers and interaction”.
It can be scary to showcase who you really are without following trends or doing things not to rock the boat or go against the status quo.
In contrast, you may have been told you need to change this or that about yourself for things to be better for you. If you have heard this, I’m sorry, but please remember you are awesome as who you are, and you don’t need to change yourself at all.
Below are some helpful tips on how to be yourself!
Tip 1- Stop trying to please others
It is nice to do things for other people as you would want other people to do the same for you. If you read my post, How To Find Your Purpose In Life; you know that I love helping people, and I aim to make a career of it.
However, constantly putting yourself out on the line for other people can be taxing on your well-being.
“You can’t give to others when you have nothing left to give.”
Help people, yes, but you need to find a balance. Besides, you’ve got to realise that you cannot please everyone all the time. It is not your job to fulfil everyone’s needs. It is your job to fulfil your own needs first and make yourself a priority; it will help your well-being.
“You can do 99 things for someone, and all they’ll remember is the one thing you didn’t do”- Unk.
What a word!
When I was younger, I just wanted to please everyone…all the time! I wanted to be the best friend, the best daughter, the best student I can be.
That resulted in high standards and expectations for myself that were not attainable which inevitably created anxiety.
If you would like to know more about anxiety, check out the post below.
What You Need To Know About Anxiety
Tip 2: Find out more about You!
Spending a lot of time at home has helped me get in touch with myself and learn more about myself. Life can be distracting, and at times we may put ourselves last.
During quarantine, I made a lot of realizations.
I am sensitive (sometimes). I like to act tougher than I really am. It’s the LEO energy, I guess.
I realized I am sensitive to many things; noise- I am a light sleeper, so small noises woke me up. Things- I try not to consume a lot of drama in my life. I’m trying to keep my vibrations high, so if you have some gossip, I don’t care to know. Please and thank you.
I’m a romantic – I love LOVE. I love the idea of it. I never used to be. I used to give myself the nickname ice queen, but now I have made a completely 180. I write love letters; I like to plan cute dates! Let’s say my partner melted my ice-cold heart, ha!
Do you really know you?
What are your likes? What are your dislikes? What are your guilty pleasures?
What do you like in a partner? Where do you see yourself in a year?
Sit down, write it down and dig deep.
Tip 3: Forgive yourself for your past transgressions
This is key.
How can you grow and thrive in all areas of your life if you can’t forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made in the past?
Honestly, I still struggle with this. During my time at home, all I did was think.
I went over past and possible scenarios. What if I didn’t say that? What if I said that? I shouldn’t have been so rude. I shouldn’t have done that! Should of, could have, would have.
Things happen and that’s life. Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There will be times when we are frustrated, annoyed, stressed and by accident, we may take it out on our loved ones.
It has happened to the best of us. Besides, it is in the past, so why harbour over it?
Negative thoughts may cause you to continuously think of past situations but do try to forgive yourself.
Journal about it! Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself. Let it all out and then let it go!
Tip 4: Work on your confidence
Everyone has self-doubt. Even Beyoncé, I’m sure. As I mentioned before, social media may cause us to compare ourselves to others. Working on your confidence takes a lot of effort and energy. It is a never-ending task!
But it will help you to be the best version of yourself.
I have this little book of confidence. Within this book, there are tips and tricks that you can use to boost your confidence.
I started a YouTube channel; I put it off for so long as I waited to be blessed with confidence but guess what, I used it as an excuse not to start my channel.
Now I have over 30 videos, and I have been consistent with my channel.
DO I feel confident all the time? Absolutely not, but I do it.
I go with the action, not the feeling. For example, I post on Saturday at 11 am.
Do I feel like posting all the time? No.
Am I moody on a Saturday morning? Sometimes but I remind myself, 11am Saturday! Go with the action forget about the feeling for now.
Come back to it once you have done the action to see why you are feeling that way. One way to work on your confidence right now- Look in the mirror and give yourself at least one compliment. Try it, if you can.
Tip 5: Find out what you are good at
What do you love to do? What would you do every day if you could?
I have realised that I can’t do things for a paycheck alone.
Sadly, there are so many people who are in 9-5 jobs just for the paychecks and to pay their bills. In my opinion, that is no way to live but that is what we have been used to in this capitalist and driven society!
Make as much money as you can. That it.
Finding happiness in your career/job is so important. Studies show that companies thrive more if their employees are satisfied
Having a work/life balance is key. There is more to life than work.
What fuels you? Do you like arts and crafts? Do you like drawing? Do you like writing? Try a bunch of things if you are unsure of what your potential new hobby may be.
It can even become another stream of income.
If you told me 5 years ago that I’d start a blog and share personal stories about myself, I would have thought, ‘There is no way I would do that!’
Look at me now. I enjoy writing and owning a blog.
If you would like to start a blog of your own, make sure that you check out Blue host!! Setting up a blog made super simple and super affordable.
Take Away
You are unique, and that is what makes you special.
If we all looked alike, behaved the same and had the same opinion, the world would be such a boring place.
I hope you find ways to be yourself in any capacity.
You are amazing and don’t dull your shine for anyone.
Shine baby!
Thank you for reading.
Take care and stay safe.
XO
It is so important to be yourself and be true to yourself. Sometimes we are so driven to be nice to others that we forget our own selves.
Exactly! Sometimes we want people to have the best impression of us that we lose sight of who we are. Thank you for reading!