How To Be Confident In Your Own Skin

Would you describe yourself as a confident person?

Confidence is undeniable, indestructible and friggin necessary. Confidence is trusting in yourself and believing that you are worth it.
Confidence is walking in the room and claiming your beauty unapologetically. Each day will have its obstacles hence confidence levels may not always be often at an all-time high and that is ok.

Struggling with confidence growing up

Growing up, I struggled with my confidence for most of my childhood. I experienced bullying from a young age. Although I had great friends as well as a good support system, the experience played a huge role in my confidence and self-esteem,. It was only until I entered my 20s that I started counselling. I used to always doubt myself and the negative self-talk in my head consumed me.

Once I entered my twenties, I started to get into personal development specifically affirmations. I was fully aware of how low my confidence was and how it was impacting all areas of my life. “why can’t I look in the mirror and be like damn girl, you’re amazing?!” – Because I didn’t believe it. I didn’t believe that I was amazing. I constantly thought of the horrible things people have said or done to me. I believed them! They didn’t know me and the fibre of my being so why did I take what they had to say as law?

In hindsight, I wasn’t putting my thoughts and hopes to the forefront. I was just getting back. Now I know what I deserve to be confident, I deserve to feel good about myself. SO now, I am constantly working on my confidence each and every day.

Things that have helped me with my confidence

Going to the gym

Oh, how I love the gym and are grateful for how it changed my life. When I first started going to the gym, I would only go with my mum. She was like my security blanket. If she wasn’t going neither was I. And I did this for some months.

When I became more comfortable with my routine, I got somewhat excited to go to the gym. When I saw how my body was changing liked it. I liked looking in the mirror and didn’t run from what I saw. It took some years but I am a gym rat and I even say hi to some other gym-goers.

Counselling

Sometimes just having an outside perspective doe help a lot. A bad habit that I used to have was downplaying my achievements. Always doubting myself and not recognizing how far I have come. What I do really appreciate about my counsellor is that she holds me accountable and reminds me of what I say.

Sometimes, hearing someone else say something about you hits different. And I want to get to the place where I don’t have to wait for someone to say something that is uplifting and I am working on it. I am nearly there.

Spend tie with loved ones

Loved ones- people who support you and add to your life instead of taking away from it. One thing that I love about my circle is that is supportive, encouraging and motivate me to be a better person. In the same breath, you have to be mindful of where and to who you give your energy. I am happy that my friends don’t drain me and give off bad energy and if they did, I wouldn’t be around them, simple. That included family too. We need people to hype us up not tear us down.

Take self-care seriously

We need to pour into ourselves as often as we can. I work in the mental health field which can be physically and emotionally draining at times.

So, it is so important that I take care of myself. I don’t just wait until #selfcaresunday to take care of myself. I do it every day. I start my day by meditating. I drink 2 litres of water and maintain a balanced diet and I also end my day by doing affirmations, manifesting, reading and journaling. It keeps me balanced and makes me feel good about myself.

Benefits of being a confident person

Good for your mental health

Mental health awareness is key. We need to cater to our mental wellness all the time not just when we are experiencing low moods. Good mental health can include: exercise, having a good support system, adequate sleep, self-care…all of it so do try to make it a priority.

Enhanced performance

Feeling confidence let that trickle off to different areas of your life. When I feel confident, I feel like I can accomplish everything that I need to do. I love how being confident shows up in my work. I can talk to anyone and help my clients to the best of my ability.

Decrease stress

We all will experience some degree of stress in our life. I used to think about what people may think about me all the time. But now I have moved into a mindset where the opinions of others don’t faze mew or determine how I see myself and I love that for me.

Better relationships

ohhh this one. I didn’t get into my first relationship until I was 22 because my confidence was known existence and I didn’t see my worth. Even during the first year of my relationship, my condolence wasn’t where it is now. The level of confidence helped my relationship grow and even though things didn’t work out, I know that I have become much more confident after the fact