Do You Struggle To Be Confident All The Time?
Being confident in yourself is something that I hope we all can accomplish. I say accomplish because I believe that it is a task that takes time, commitment and patience to gain.
Growing up, I struggled with my confidence. During my high school years, I was bullied for some time. Little was done to prevent/stop the building and to be fair, I didn’t really stick up for myself, which was due to a lack of self-esteem.
Before high school, there were some incidents during playscheme (also known as a summer camp for my US friends) where I experienced bullying. In hindsight, I look back at those situations and ask myself, “If I had more confidence, could I have stopped those kids and stuck up for myself?’ Then I realise that those situations were unprovoked, and to put it simply, some kids are mean.
Once the bullying stopped, the damage was pretty much done. I had to build myself up back again. I let what was said to me and done to me impact how I saw myself.
Was I ugly? Was I fat?
I have always been a reserved, introverted and private person, but I became even more introverted and reserved after the fact. The girls who picked on me were my friends at one point, so I began to develop trust issues.
It’s sad how quickly things can turn around. You think you know someone until they don’t get their way, then things go affray.
Later on, I made a great group of friends towards the end of high school, which helped with my confidence a little bit, we made so many memories, and I am still in contact with a few of them today.
Later on, I went to university in Birmingham, 3 hours away from home. Although I was excited. I was nervous as I would have to speak up and make new friends, which I struggled to do so due to my lack of confidence.
The first few weeks of university took some adjusting. I hardly talked to any of my flatmates! I began drinking, which made me feel more confident, but then I became reliant on it to boost my confidence, which is not ideal. If you would like to know how to refocus on my well-being during university, click here.
Fast forward to today, there are still some things I need to work on, but I am happy to say that I am a more confident person (even if I am faking it at times).
Here are some tips on how to be confident:
Try to overcome self-limiting thoughts
There will come times when we have doubts about damn near everything. It is impossible to overcome every negative thought that we may have. We are human, and we have many, many emotions. When I notice self-limiting thoughts trying to creep in, I try to overcome them by saying affirmations. Affirmations are statements that you can repeat to yourself that are positive and beneficial to your wellbeing*. This, paired with the next tip, has helped me tremendously.
Speak kindly to yourself
What you say and think about yourself plays a big role in your confidence levels. If you constantly think and say bad things about yourself, guess what? According to the law of attraction, the universe hears that, and that is what you attract into your experience. It is hard to always speak kindly to yourself but try it. Say something nice about yourself now!
Push yourself (safely that is)
Being trapped in your comfort zone and doing the same things repeatedly will not aid your growth. It will stop it. I continue to push myself out of my comfort zone to start a Youtube Channel. As I mentioned before, I am quite private and starting a channel is something I thought ‘I’d never do that’, but I have done it! It was a goal of mine, and instead of waiting until my confidence was at an all-time high, I just did it.
At first, I was terrified about putting myself out there, but now I am used to it, and I don’t think twice about posting a new video. If you would like to check out my channel, click here.
Find your why
Why do you want to be more confident? What is the reason why you don’t feel as confident as you would like to? Hopefully, you find the answer within yourself.
Exercise
If you are an avid reader of my blog, you should expect me to mention the importance of exercise in every single post. Exercising is important for your physical and mental wellbeing. When I first started exercising, I was scared to go to the gym by myself.
Eight years on, I’d rather work out alone. I am laser-focused. Going to the gym and getting the results I like has helped me to be more confident. Try it for yourself.
Practice gratitude
Everyday is a gift that’s why we call it a present- By some famous dude.
It’s true! Everytime we open our eyes each and everyday. We have something to be grateful for.
As soon as I wake up, I like to say! Thank you. Thank you that I am still here. Thank you that I have food. Thank you that I have shelter. There are many things that we can be grateful for. What are yours?
Look back
At times, it’s nice to look back and see how far you have come and what you have accomplished along the way. When I’m feeling low, I like to think of all the amazing things I have done and/or are doing. This gives me a confidence boost and reminds me that if I put my mind to something, I can accomplish it, and so can you.
Focus on now
What are you doing right now that is aiding to help you to become more confident? Look at what you have around you.
Look at what you done in life thus far! Are you proud of yourself? I hope you are!
Looking back can be useful, but looking back on times when you lacked confidence can make you feel some way. Don’t let it take you back there. You’re not there for a reason. You are here, and you are going forward.
Take Away
Being a confident person is something you will always have to work on. Obstacles may distract you, but don’t let them take you off the path you’re on. Remember your why.
Remember that you are amazing and have a lot going for you keep going and never stop appreciating yourself.
Thank you for reading.
Take care of yourself.
XO
