Do You Feel Stuck In A Rut? 4 Steps to Get Out Of A Rut

Do you believe that you are stuck in a rut? Me too!

Lately, I feel as if I have been stuck in a rut for some time now.

What is a rut?
For me, being stuck in a rut is like being stuck in the mud, and you feel like you can’t get out of it.
Being in a rut is doing things on your checklist but feeling as if you are not accomplishing anything.
Being in a rut is watching your days pass you by, but you feel like everything is a blur
Being in a rut is not doing things that used to bring you joy.

Recently, I mentioned that I feel like I am simply existing, not living.
Now, I feel like I exist.
I’ve been practising more mindfulness and showing myself more grace. I took some time off work, travelled abroad and now I am getting back into a routine, and I feel good about myself overall.
But with more mindfulness, I have become more aware of my surroundings and I have become more pensive, if you will.

At times, I will be deep in thought and become quite emotional trying to answer the questions that have been popping up recently.

The common questions I have been asking myself include:

What is next?
What is my career going to look like?
When am I going to have children?
When am I going to buy a house?
How am I going to balance everything: being a wife, being a mother, having a social life as well as a career?

A list of questions keeps going around and around in my head.
There are so many things to think about.

I know life will keep moving, but I have been in a rut. Looking around me, I see my colleagues and my loved ones advance, and I am just thinking to myself, why do I feel stuck? When am I going to get where I want to go?

Candice, breathe!
Everything will happen when the time is right.

That’s me talking to myself, trying to relax my mind and not be so hell-bent on having my career sorted out as soon as and advancing quickly.

Before I became more aware of how my beautiful mind works, I did things on impulse and didn’t think forward or think things through. I worked in jobs that made absolutely no sense for my career, and I was just money driven.

Side note: the field of mental health is not money driven; you have to be carrying, willing to study a lot and have a lot of experience under your belt to see real money, in my opinion.

I know when I look back, I will realize that this period of my life helped to build character and taught me the importance of being patient. Sometimes when we are in the process, we are stuck in the process, stuck in a rut and not knowing what and where to do next.

I know what I need to do to get to where I want to go but perhaps, I am feeling stuck because I am seeing people move ahead quickly and it is taking a bit more time for me. But it is my journey, I need to focus on my path alone.

So how do I get out of this rut?

#1 Identify the issue- Why am I feeling like this?

During this time of year, my mood shifts dramatically; seasonal depression may be why. As we come to the end of the year, I try to look back and see what I have accomplished. In the past, I look at how much I have done, not necessarily the quality of the big accomplishments. i.e., I moved out, I’m in a relationship, and work is going ok, but I know that my career is a big task for me, so I needed to dedicate more time to focus on it and go through the steps to advance my career.

I know why I’m in a rut; I have not been taking the time to focus on my career. I have not been meditating as much as I wanted to. I have ever so slightly been comparing myself to others. I have not been as active as I used to be; exercise plays a big role in my mood and productivity.

So what am I going to do? Implement my routine, make necessary adjustments and in my downtime: research, plan and take the next steps to advance in my career.

#2- Break things down

My ultimate goal is to become a counsellor. So how will I get there?
Another course, more experience and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. How will I do this? I will apply for another course; I will look for another job that will award me with experience, and all of the above tasks will help me to get out of my comfort zone. SMART goals help me to break things down. We’ve all got to work harder, not smarter.

#3 Take care of yourself

I have been exhausted recently. Not feeling well rested and feeling quite lethargic. I got blood tests, and everything came back fine, amen. So, what else could be the issue?

I eat well, meditate, journal, read, and try to get at least 7 hours of sleep. But I rarely feel refreshed. Perhaps I am stressed. The ongoing things that I am constantly thinking about may impact my physical being. Ways that I will try to take care of myself more effectively is to try and compartmentalize my issues. I learnt this in cbt. Set aside time to focus on the issue when there is a problem. For example, (I am sorry if you’re tired of reading this) the steps I need to take for my career. I will set aside time during the day, say 2 hours tops, to research and plan the steps I need to take. That way I am dedicating time to focus on it instead of constantly thinking about it throughout the day and impacting my ability to sleep and focus on other things.

Another way I will take care of myself- is to rest. I am a busybody; I struggle just to sit still. I am thinking of what else needs to get done. Last week, I slept for 9 hours, undisturbed. I haven’t done that for years. I must have been exhausted. I was shocked. I woke up feeling refreshed, and I need more of this, especially during winter. So, at least once a week, I will not set an alarm and see how much sleep I can get. What needs to get done will still get done. I will show myself more grace and do what I can do with the time I am awarded.

#4 Is it a rut- or is it something else?

Seasonal depression is a real thing. The colder months do impact some people’s mental health significantly. As I have experienced symptoms of depression before, I know that I was experiencing some symptoms, but I may have brushed them aside and replaced them with me being in a rut. But it can be both!
Writing this, I feel motivated, productive and in a good mood overall. Why? I started my day right. I woke up, meditated, read, worked out, and showered. I feel good. I feel rested. So, I don’t feel depressed, but I feel like I am getting out of the rut.
If you feel like you may be experiencing something else, not just a rut, it will be ideal to speak with a medical professional to investigate this further.