In a few words…
Life is hard.
No matter who you are and what you go through LIFE IS HARD.
2019 has been incredibly difficult. I don’t like to say its one of the hardest years of my life because its not. I have a place to live and I have my education.
(two things that many young women don’t have access to. I will continue to count my blessings and you should too!)
I left my job as a support worker in May. I actually liked my job (at times) even though it was extremely stressful and wore my body down.
Improving the quality of life for individuals who have mental health disorders is a passion of mine. Having the ability to work in the mental health sector is something that I cherish.
I was out of work for a while as I didn’t want to settle and work in a job that I didn’t see myself progressing in. (I have had so many jobs, I am trying not to add to the list)
I had a few interviews but all were unsuccessful and that is ok. In hind sight, I wasn’t not the best candidate for the job!
Fast forward to august, I signed up to an agency as a nursery assistant.
August flew by…still no work. September flew by…nope no work.
In between this time, I made several inquires as to why I wasn’t getting any shifts.
It wasn’t until october that I worked! It wasn’t my initial plan but at least I made a bit of money.
Not only was I stressing out about not working, my grandmother passed suddenly in September.
This came as a shock to everyone and I am still trying to process the loss as I write this.
I went to America and Guyana to be with my family.
I missed a week of university but that was ok as I had access to all the materials online.
It was extremely sad, but I had to be there for my family. Back and fourth across the Atlantic ocean was wearing me out to say the least.
But I had no time to rest. As soon as I got back from Guyana, I had to catch up with university work.
To this day, I am surprised that I still have the motivation to keep on top of everything.
I made it a point to not let myself defer from my goal.
A couple of weeks ago, my car was broken right in front of my apartment!
This worried me but thankfully nothing was stolen.
It’s crazy how much I have changed.
A couple of years ago, all the stressors would have really halted my progression and my ability to see the bigger picture.
I would have let pain take over my perspective and I would have remained in a negative space.
But no longer.
It may be horrible to say but the passing of my grandma has sparked the fire in me that I thought died a long time ago.
Life is for the living not just existing.
I have so many goals that I want… No I WILL accomplish.
I have more determination than ever.
I have become more organized.
I have become more passionate.
And I have become more sure that I will achieve all that I hope for.
And why have I not given up?
Because I refuse to let my circumstances overshadow my dreams.
Why have you not quit as yet- I hear you ask!
I have no choice.
I have to keep going.
This dream of mine is not just for me.
This is for my mother who has made many sacrifices so that I can thrive.
Yes there will be days when I feel like quitting and that is ok.
Yesterday was one of them. It wasn’t my best day but it still was a productive one.
You have to know your whys and keep them at the back of your mind when you feel like giving up.
There are so many people that would love to be in your place.
We have one life to live so let us strive to be the best we can be and live out our dreams.
You deserve it.